Juanita was standing in the mirror picking out her afro and grunting snippets from the latest James Brown jam, “Say It Loud (I’m Black And I’m Proud), when the telephone rang and her younger brother Barry scrambled to answer it, tripping and falling over his own awkward knees and feet.
“Boy, that call isn’t for you!” Juanita pointed the afro-pick and lunged after him. “Ma! Barry’s trying to answer the phone instead of doing his homework!” she shouted, then tripped over the bunched-up corner of the hallway runner. She fell on top of Barry and tried to pin his arms to the floor. A few feet away the rotary telephone sat on its own table, brrringing!---brrringing!---brrrrining!
“I can answer the phone if I want to! That phone ain’t yours!” Barry tangled against his sister.
“Barry, what have I told you about saying “ain’t”?” their mother, Edna Smalls, came around the corner to see her children rolling on the floor. “And Juanita! If you don’t get up off of him, I’m going to bop you with this receiver!”
Edna Smalls yanked the receiver from its cradle, shook it in the air for affect, and then calmly answered “Hello?” Both Barry and Juanita tried to get in a few extra slaps and hits on each other.
“Is that you, Melvina? Girl, hold on a minute....theses kids....!” They didn’t see their mother take off her house slipper and bite down on her bottom lip as she came across the room. She raised that shoe high up in the air and then came down on them with some well-placed swats to their heads and backsides.
“DIDN’T. ” Pop! Pop!
“I. ” Papbap!
“TELL. ” Spapp!
“YOU.” Fllrrapp!
“TWO.” Paa!baap!
“TO.” Faapp!
“STOP???” POP!POP!POP!
Edna Smalls replaced the house slipper on her foot, dusted her hand, wiped her mouth, and walked back over to sit in the chair next to the telephone table. She picked up the receiver and breathed into it: .“Giiirrrrrrrlll....!” She could hear her sister-in-law, Melvina, on the other end, laughing.
Barry tried to kick Juanita away at the same time that she she was getting up off her knees. “I can’t stand you!” She hissed at him. She tried to straighten and smooth the disarray of her new mustard-yellow and brown pantsuit. Noticing a smudge on the hem of her shirt, she turned to gape at her mother. “Ma!” Juanita wailed. Her mother, who was listening intently to what Melvina was saying, could not detect the slight discoloration from across the room. She covered the mouthpiece with her hand and said “Melvina needs you to baby-sit Leslie and Sukie, tonight.”
Juanita’s eyes popped. “But I had plans, mother!” she whispered, desperately.
“I don’t remember us discussing anything.” Edna Smalls whispered back.
Into the telephone she said “Of course she can do it, it’s not going to be a problem.” This made Juanita drop to her knees with her hands clasped in a gesture of pleading but it was all in vain.
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